10 Nov Walking, Talking Hypocrite | Family Photographer Comes Clean
A Family Photographer with No Family Photos
Holy Hypocrisy! It’s time I just said it.
I am a family photographer by profession. I spend much of my job making people feel good in front of my camera. I tell mom after mom it is HER job to make sure she is in photos. I tell her to love her body at every stage it is in and just get in the photo. I remind parents who don’t want to get in photos to remember YOU may not want to see yourself – but your KIDS do. They want to look back and see you, so put away your fears and get in those photos for your kids! As you can see, I have this speech down. I even sprinkle some guilt with a little dash of shame.
Now here comes the hypocrisy. I have a soon to be 5-year-old kiddo and don’t have a single family photo of all of us. Not a single one (that is not a selfie). It even blows my mind. The ONE family photo we have of all three of us is over 3 years old and it was in a photo booth! I really struggle wrapping my head around my inability to get in front of a camera. I have every excuse in the book, which adds up to I don’t want to have to look at myself.
After I had a baby I no longer recognized my body. I am not sure who that is from the neck down and I have not given her a chance either. I don’t want to get to know her. I want her gone. I don’t like what I see when I look in the mirror. She was not invited and I can’t seem to get rid of her, that girl from the neck down. We all have our demons, I suppose.
Thank God I have a sense of humor about it. My sweet 4-year-old said to me the other da,y ‘Mom, why do your boobs fall down all the time?” in his very matter of fact way. A laugh left my lips, and I smiled while I hugged him thinking about the year I spent breastfeeding, “‘Cause of you, you little sh*t.”
Another part of the problem is my husband can’t wrap his brain around hiring a photographer when there is one living under his roof. I try to tell him it’s not like I am a plumber and can fix my own toilets. He reminds me I own a tripod, but it is simply not the same. I want to be bossed around by someone better than me! I want someone who is great at posing naturally. I want me, only better!
All of these are just enough reasons to not have a single family photo. Until yesterday.
With no makeup and greasy hair, I was determined to get a family photo. If not for me, then for my son who may want to know what I looked like when he was a kid. The hypocrisy ends here. Here’s to bravery and getting to know this girl from the neck down.
Don’t let the sweet looking photo fool you. I had three minutes flat to get a photo that took me two minutes to plan. There was a lot of stressing out in the background for about five minutes. I went as fast as I could so I did not over think it or talk myself out of it.
I will deliver Christmas Cards this year with a family photo. Cheers to me and my whole entire body that made it happen.